#i am not a therapist or a psychologist

[sh1-n0bu]

so i forgot to say this but i finished the 2.2 penacony quest yesterday and just wanted to say my own thoughts and opinions regarding a certain chicken winged boy.

SPOILERS BELOW FOR 2.2

first, sunday is still manipulative and a control freak ofc. we can’t have a biblically accurate eldritch angel without some form of mental fuckery. BUT! the interesting part is, it came from gopher wood AKA his adoptive dad. it was taught to him

second, he is a victim. a victim who was groomed into following ena’s dreams and who was forced to make those dreams a reality. however that does NOT excuse the fact that he still committed some crimes and such etc etc. he is manipulative bc that is the only way he knows, that is what gopher wood taught him. the manipulated becomes the manipulator sort of scenario but from what i’ve read between the lines, he knows that. he understands that. he knows what he is doing won’t prevail and that it is inherently wrong and doesn’t sit correct with his own real character AKA dominicus. but will he ever break free from the cycle of manipulation? no. at least, from what we know so far

sunday is in too deep into this small cult for ena and their dreams, he won’t be able to break himself out even if he tried. he is pathetic. not in “owewh he pathetic wet cat🥺” type but in “oh he is pathetic🙁” type. he knows he is a victim, he knows that the path he follows will probably never become a reality but he is too scared to break the cycle. he is too afraid to step out of what has been taught to him thru his whole life. he wants to, but he can’t bc he is too used to the fake comfort of manipulation and what ena’s dreams promise him. at least his sister got herself out of this vicious cycle… at least robin is safe. and that makes him glad

third, i don’t like him. i love his character and his writing, don’t get me wrong. but u got me lost and triggered my encounter with a lunatic cultists with the confessional scene no joke that shit scared me that i had to log off of har for the rest of the day and manipulative characters aint my thing. but overall, love sunday and his writing. but i love dominicus more. that scared lonely boy who has no other choice but to follow the teachings of mr.gopher wood and ena and is told to blindly put his trust in them. as mitski’s lines in “last words of a shooting star” goes:

“… and while its dreams played music in the night

quietly, it was told to

believe…”

[gebediahhhhhhh]

I’ve seen a lot of people analyzing Lydia’s behavior in BJBJ, not only on tumblr. And a lot of posts about Lydia’s anxiety being illogical miss one certain point: anxiety IS illogical. As someone who spent enough time treating my depression and anxiety issues (and also abusing my medicine at some point) I can totally get her behavior. Let me explain.

WARNING: I’m not an expert in anything I’m talking about, this is just for fun and based on my own experience with mental issues. Also I’m very sleepy and English is not my first language.

When people analyze Lydia’s behavior, they usually have 2 points:

1. Lydia is afraid of ghosts in general; she’s getting anxious because she can see dead people.

2. Lydia is afraid of Beetlejuice specifically.

While the first one is more logically understandable, I don’t think it’s the thing. To me it was obvious that she was afraid of BJ and her panic attacks happened only when she saw him. The second one, though, makes less sense considering the events of the second movie, when Lydia summons BJ and she’s just like… annoyed. She looks at him and goes ew. I didn’t see panic. Which could be just her being calm and collected in the face of danger, but I don’t believe Lyds is like that, sorry 😭

So that leaves us with her reactions being kinda… inconsistent. Yeah! So let me introduce you to my hot takes:

- Lydia is mentally unstable and has big anxiety issues which lead her to panic spiraling about certain topics.

- Lydia is NOT afraid of ghosts in general (at least consciously), but seeing them still messes her up.

- Lydia’s only human and her memory of the first movie events is not perfect.

Let’s talk about this.

In the first movie we clearly see Lydia being depressed and suicidal. Here everything’s clear, I think. Depression at a young age can mess your brain big time and I doubt she got it medicated until she was a whole ass adult.

In the same first movie Lydia obviously doesn’t feel distressed around ghosts (except for BJ, because he’s a weirdo). She willingly spends time with Maitlands and dances with football players and in general she’s okay with ghosts.

From the second movie we get that she can see any ghost because of her gift. I can only imagine how many ghosts she’s met during these 36 years. Probably even before her show started, she would always randomly see dead people in all kinds of places. Some guy killed himself in this building 50 years ago? Yep, Lydia can see him haunting the place. This ability surely doesn’t bring comfort to one’s life, especially after you grow out of your teenage years and talking to dead people is no more considered a quirky thing.

Now back to her fear of Beetlejuice. In the first movie, he terrorized the Deetzes, but didn’t do anything harmful to Lydia specifically. The whole wedding thing must’ve been pretty scary though, I don’t think many people acknowledge that. In her place I would absolutely be terrified. But at the end she seems fine and cheerful, which could be a sign that she isn’t traumatized but all this ghostly stuff that much. So what could’ve happened for her to react to BJ like this?

What I’m thinking is, human memory is not perfect. It tends to blur some things, especially uncomfortable ones. And depression is known for causing memory issues as well. I, personally, barely remember my teen years. And I’m definitely younger than Lydia and saw far less shit in my life. So I’m just thinking that, for the past 36 years, her memory of encountering Beetlejuice might’ve gotten more vague and kinda replaced with… Maitlands’ stories about him.

We don’t know when exactly did the Maitlands leave, but I assume Lydia did spend with them enough time. I already saw a very good in-depth post about Lydia’s fear of Beetlejuice being fueled by the Maitlands’ experience of him being a pervy freak and whatnot. Yes, I agree!!! They absolutely did tell Lydia about all their afterlife experiences, including their first time summoning Beetlejuice. So Lydia must’ve known about him being extremely fucking weird.

Now, imagine: you’re a woman with many mental issues. Your job includes regularly seeing dead people who might look really disturbing and behave in a potentially dangerous way. You have many relationships issues as well and now… You start seeing a freaky ghost from your teenage years. What do you remember about him? Oh, not much:

- he hurt your dad and scared your family (which might have been funny when you’re 16, you do start seeing things differently when you grow up).

- he was acting absolutely disgusting towards your friend.

- he tried to marry you.

I don’t blame Lydia for freaking out. And considering she has anxiety, I can totally imagine her brain going different directions with thoughts how Beetlejuice might hurt her specifically. Been there, done that. I believe her seeing him at the studio wasn’t the first time, and her reactions just kept escalating because she kept thinking about him being a supernatural entity who can murder her, rape her, hurt her daughter, hurt her parents, etc.

But then she summons him and he’s… normal. I mean, relatively normal. You know that feeling when you’re afraid to make this really scary phone call, but when you finally do, it turns out to be not that scary? I imagine that what Lydia experienced, just ten times more intense lmao.

[roboyomo]

i'm gonna be honest every day when i come back home i like. Immediately get hit with a minimum of 2 things that i Need to do (eating and getting work done and what not) and it is like my body is being inflicted with damage over time because it feels too overwhelming knowing i have many tasks to do even though they're. Are literally daily tasks everyone can do in minutes. but it just feels like too much at once even though each task would take so little. But i cannot help it and i end up wasting about 4 hours rotting in bed or doing not what i'm supposed to do and then feeling terrible about not doing shit that i needed to and "oh i Have to make up for it tomorrow i will GET EVERYTHING DONE IMMEDIATELY ONCE I GET HOME"

you'll never fucking guess what happens Again. Dude.

[curioscurio]

Reading some more books about autism ! I don't quite know if I'm on the spectrum (a lot of tests seem to lean towards yes) but still! A lot of them make the very lonely person inside me feel seen and understood a little more than before :]

[unstablemotions]

people: you need to get an official diagnosis from a psychiatrist!!!

psychiatrists: *misdiagnosed me with different things like +4 times and filled me with unnecessary medicine*

[electric-rabbits]

I'm reading Unmasking Autism and not to self-diagnose but something's wrong

[okcoolthanks]

Looove feeling like a fucking child whenever I talk to kids my age ebecause I always feel like I’m either talking about my toys or like they’re better than me because I spent a majority of my childhood trying to make myself just as smart as everyone else because I genuinely thought I was stupid and didn’t deserve to live

[itsays]

do you think people who are like psychologists and psychiatrists and stuff read everyone else around them all the time

[eurazba]

Not beating the ADHD allegations to anyone except, apparently the one fucking person who can actually diagnose me

[thisismycorneroftheinternet]

I realize that to others, having recurrent suicidal thoughts and other violent intrusive thoughts, having several coping mechanisms that are in some way or another self-harm and dangerous habits, having difficult to control memory flashbacks out of the blue that ruin your entire mood and bring you down, and having a generally almost constant level of demotivation and negativeness, derealization and depersonalization, and sheer panicked internal anxiety and paranoia that can go overboard at any second, are not normal. But like, that's been most of my life since I was 13ish, very few times I have not felt this way. I've just learned to carry on and not talk too much about it, because it scandalizes people to hear that sort of stuff, and that means they turn against you and abandon you, because they think I am either too much to handle or am acting out too much.

[z00r0p4]

Been progressively getting more depressed and weepy on a daily basis about the hopelessness and meaningless of my life n situation n just today realized "oh it's because I go back to school on monday" and I associate school with pain because the seats are always fucking horrible and I always have to do sooo much work and coordination with accommodations, and I have a 3 hour long class this semester that I have to take in order to graduate with my minor and I cannot sit almost anywhere for that fucking long given my health problems. So I'm going to have to probably talk to this professor and beg them to let me stream in-- which will probably not work. My spanish class is in a room with god awful seating. I have one class more than I usually do and even though its a 1 credit class it's still another hour I have to spend in pain.

So all that said, my brain is apparently so traumatized by how awful my pain has gotten in the last 2 years that it's basically triggered by just. school. Probably need some sort of cptsd diagnosis. And lots of therapy. idk guys. I hope I can actually make it to my graduation.

[the-sappho-of-lesbos]

Every time I think I’m okay being single I just get hit with this wave of helplessness and sadness and fear over being this way forever. I get frustrated at myself that I can’t be more like other people and that I feel so isolated as a lesbian

[wickedhawtwexler]

my gaydar is so-so but my adhd-dar has not been wrong yet

[cappiecarp]

just saw the cover of volume 9 of skip to loafer. might die.

[klara-rosa]

🥲

[ibringyouasong89]

I’m 33 going on 34 in less than a month. I work two part time jobs (because after graduating college with a BA in English Lit, could not get a full time in publishing - or ANY full-time job for that matter with no connections to promote an opportunity based on nepotism) and one of them is in retail...which is a terrible industry that is utterly inhumane that I have worked in for almost 11 years. I currently go to school for my Masters in Education...which I still have doubts about doing, long term wise, because of the state education is in both the state I wish to teach in and also for the country (in case you missed it - America) itself. Being in NYC, there is no shortage of teachers, and I wonder, ever day, how long it’ll take me to get a teaching job for the public schools...because this is, literally, the only state where the union and the pay are worthy for teachers to have and be a part of...everywhere else, including CA and NJ are shit, in terms of pay and union protection and benefits. 

I live with my mother, in my great-grandparent’s house that will turn a century old in two months...I literally live in the house that was built upon the foundation that was “The American Dream” and all I can hear, repeating in my ears, is George’s Carlin’s takeaway line of “You have to be asleep to see it.” I’m in my thirties, where most people I know are either married or getting engaged; pregnant for the first time, the second time, etc...or have a growing kid/children already...and I have no SO, no children, no stable-enough financial situation to have a house of my own someday, or even a car. My parents did not have city-based jobs, which guarantees a union where one can inherit a pension and still maintain benefits upon retirement. My father used his 401K, after getting fired due to the economic downturn post 9/11, to go and obtain a real estate license. Then the housing market bubble burst in 2008 and, well...we weren’t destitute (poverty has definitely taken on a different flavor since the 1930′s for most Americans), but let’s just say my grandparents were helping my mother to pay for most of the bills (including my tuition to keep going to school for all four of my academic years in high school).  I have had depression, on and off, for over 15 years and find it hard to take good care of myself on most days when I’m not feeling either lazy or too despondent to get up out of bed (FYI, I don’t know if it’s clinical or not...). I haven’t been on a vacation since 2014. I had dreams of traveling of the world, ever since I was small enough to understand what wonders existed in the world, and don’t think I’ll ever be able to travel to any of those places until I am, most likely, too old to do so. I don’t have a social life. I don’t really have any friends and can’t afford to go see the ones I barely maintain a connection with from childhood...as I was forced to move away from my hometown when my parents finally divorced after almost 30 years of a toxic relationship that I bore witness to...and I know loneliness is a choice, but so is having self-respect and not allowing yourself to fall into terrible relationships just so you can say you have someone. In all likelihood, I will never get married. I will never have children...and when I think on never having children, part of me realizes that I will grow old and not have anyone to take care of me as most of my family had no children of their own (and got old and died) or have no real relationship with me.  I may wind up a smelly corpse in a rundown apartment at some point or thrown into an abusive nursing home due to the state checking up on me. I also feel, in large part, a great sense of relief...because I will never have to bring into this world a child who will be financially burdened the way I am. I will never have a child who feels like a failure, like they were left behind by the society that promised them they could, and would, succeed...that, for the most part, denies that climate change is real. That if I married a man that was not of my own ethnocultural background, they would be discriminated against and made targets of by law enforcement or of the government. That if I had a daughter, and she traveled to one of the states where abortion is illegal, and was tragically raped and made pregnant, she would have to bear that pregnancy to fruition, despite the trauma and despair. That my son, if he was a member of the LGBTQ+ community, and was lovingly accepted at home, would not find that same reception in the rest of the nation he was born into and would also become a target...Or, if one of my children wished to go to Florida, and wanted to study African American history at their chosen university, they could not do so because of the new law that Ron DeSantis has just written and signed into effect. That there is an international war going on and that if my children were old enough, could be drafted into (and don’t tell me it can’t happen because IT HAS happened before. My father was drafted for ‘Nam. And though he went willingly, he never celebrated the fact that he was a vet...none of my family members that served EVER talked about their service and what they had seen, done, or heard during that time in their lives) and made to fight and kill innocent people for the sake of “democracy” (that is highly corrupt) and, if they made it out alive, would be scorned and forsaken by the very same government that asked them to fight for their nation with pride (ask Jon Stewart about it sometime).  That my children will never become subject to addiction of smart technology, social media, or any of the ways instant gratification and technology has shaped the lives of children that I see today in that they evolve to become computer compliant, but deficient in human social skills (and it started well before Covid, but the quarantine definitely made it worse).  That my children will never become hopelessly engaged with fentanyl or any of the opioids that so many children become hooked on, from young ages (even from the womb!) and wind up either tragically a part of a statistic for death or incarceration. That my children will never be forced into homelessness because of a devastating storm that washed away their homes and their livelihoods. That my would’ve-been-future daughter will never face the choice of having to wait her child dying within her womb and her body turning sceptic because her doctors could not give her an abortion (yes, this really happened in 2023).  That my son, if he wished to transition and become a woman, would not scorned by society, and would not be found wanting of healthcare to care for himself and his changing body.  That my children would not be forced to be placed under labels - no matter how conservative or progressive the ideology may be - that only furthers the lines of discrimination and divide within this country (even if the intention is the exact opposite - see Bill Maher about it sometime).  I will never have children who feel stifled by living with me because they can’t afford to live on their own...or feel that they are forgotten, let down, or left behind by the society that promised them they could succeed (no matter their race or gender).  I will never have children who ponder over the pointlessness of their existence because they can never fully enjoy life the way they were told to do so (and are constantly told to do so by people who don’t realize the limitations they are bound by, especially by a society that is run by the chrono-capitalist society they both revere and hate simultaneously). I am grateful I will never have children (if that is indeed my future) so that they never have to wind up as shooting victims, with pictures on full display on every news media outlet in the country. It’s not just the young...it’s also us adults (Millennials) who are expected to step up and take charge of society when the people who are in charge of it now step down.